There seems to be an endless stream of idiotic things professional athletes do. I guess if you put a bunch of young men together, give them a boat-load of money and lots of free time, what can you expect? When beautiful women, the media and the luxuries of life are thrown at them, their cockiness and stupidity are only amplified. Here are my top ten, but of course there are lots more. However, we must always remember, they are only human too.

1. Me Make Good Play!

Ever see NFL players beat their chest like a gorilla after they just made a good play? I guess it’s a Tarzan thing or something, but they look kinda ridiculous. Maybe if I was out there on the field and I was a 170-pound kicker watching a defensive lineman beating his chest after a sack, I may be a little intimidated, but overall, they look really silly doing it. (I attended a professional all-women’s football game this year and saw a 350- pound woman do this, which was particularly scary.)

2. The God Factor, Part I

I hate it when players point up to Heaven and thank God after a good play too. Bear in mind however, that I am not criticizing religion or anyone for having faith in God. But this just looks lame. It happens a lot in MLB for some reason. A strikeout will cause Pedro Martinez to do the chest-touch and double-index- finger-point to God as if he and God were chatting earlier about possible pitching strategies in the locker room, and the strategy they chose together worked, so he had to personally thank God using his direct line.

3. The God Factor, Part II

Locker rooms, sidelines, dugouts, bullpens, and court sides are often full of praying men. One question: “If you are praying to win, and your opponent is praying to win, who does God choose?

4. Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

Why do pro jocks get arrested for drug and/or gun possession so much? Of course, lots of people do this one unfortunately, we just happen to hear about the famous athletes who do. C’mon guys, keep the drugs at home, stop driving while high, and for crying out loud, stop packin’! You don’t need a gun. Who’s going to harm you? You’re six six and weigh 275 pounds!

5. It Wasn’t Me!

Telling Congress you don’t do steroids, then getting caught doing steroids is pretty dumb. I loved watching the clips where Rafael Palmero sat pointing a finger at the Congressional hearing stating with disgust and confidence, “I do not take steroids.” And then the next clip showing him apologizing profusely for taking steroids.

6. I Love You To Death

Murdering ex-lovers doesn’t happen very often fortunately, but my list wouldn’t be complete without at least mentioning O.J.

7. Rabbits

It seems that there are a lot of NBA players out there who use the phrase, “My baby’s mom” a little too often. And there’s too many pro athletes’ offspring introducing their buddies as “My brother from another mother.” Ever hear of a condom?